"baldy", as my best friend and i have nicknamed, asked me to remove myself from this dating site that he and i are both on. i guess that's because he just wants to date me exclusively now. To be honest, baldy is very attractive, but i just know i don't want to see him really anymore, let alone be "exclusive" with him. Again, very attractive, but all he does is complain. Very annoying. i also don't get to say too much, which is probably best sometimes. i also think he's to serious for me. i just get that feeling. i like to be a goof sometimes. i can't picture him being like that.
Here is the problem. i still have a hard time saying no. i can't do it. i have reverted back to my old self and feel horribly bad telling someone no. To avoid telling someone no, i try to think of excuses instead. i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
i am bothered, and i know Master will be, by this because if i find myself in a bad situation i do wonder if i will actually be able to say no or just go along with something because i don't want to make someone feel bad. And yes, even if it would hurt me. Shhhhh, i'm aware of the stupidity.
Master also wants me to be in control of any sex i will have with someone. He only wants me to loose myself to Him. That's all i want anyway. But how the heck am i going to do that if i can't even say a simple no??????????????
No comments:
Post a Comment